'Dad, I'm not a mummy'....

Shanae… ‘Dad, I’m not a mummy’

I took the kids to school today and dropped off Shanae in class as usual. When I got to work I noticed her swim bag in the back of the car…I thought, ‘ oh, if she doesn’t have that she won’t be able to swim…I'd better take to her’. I got sidetracked and never thought about it again. Until….

Until she…'told me off' for not bringing her swim bag. She told me with a sad face how she couldn’t swim!!! My heart dropped…she explained to me how she left the bag in the car. She said ‘dad, why didn’t you bring my bag to me? Then she said, “dad,I’m not a mummy’. In other words, she can’t be held responsible to remember her swim bag, that’s the role of a mummy or a daddy! I apologised profusely.

She said it to me twice through the week. She stopped saying it when I asked her if she had really forgiven me. I said if you’re forgiven me then you won’t ask me why any more. I said again that I was sorry and asked for forgiveness. She smiled and said, ‘ok, dad’.

I promised that I’d take her swimming on Friday since she lost her chance to swim at school. I made good the promise and we went to Lang Xang on Friday. It was fun. She had fun. We all had fun. I felt good about it. We finished up at Fatima, our regular Indian kitchen, and finished off with a 30 cent icecream. I redeemed the moment. It was a good come back!

what's been happening on the Meekong recently....

Angel came and visited us...sit was real cool to have a heartbeater amongst us and our children again!!! Kids were really happy...Just like old times.

On Course!!!

ASIAN SCHOOL OF DEVELOPMENT AND CROSS-CULTURAL STUDIES (ASDECS) is a training consortium specializing in both formal and non-formal education in the field of development and a cross-cultural studies. It seeks to create a mutually enabling environment that builds the capacities of individuals and organizations in doing with wholistic development that is genuinely rooted in an Asian context.

ASDECS distinctives are wholism and the integration of spiritual perspectives into the theory and practice of development. There is concern for culture-fit and rootedness in the Asian context in its organization and training style.

ASDECS is committed to experience-based, participatory learning and concern for theory-building in the areas of development, cross-cultural studies and wholistic field work that is sourced from within the Asian context.

ASDECS teaching and learning environment is collegial. The faculty are top-class both as academics and practitioners, each with intensive cross-cultural experience. To ensure that courses are integrative, practical and multi-disciplinary, there is emphasis on team teaching and hands-on learning. ASDECS' teaching and learning processes are products of community learning and reflection by both teachers and students together. The teaching pattern accommodates Asian students' ways of thinking and learning with great emphasis on personal mentoring. The learning environment tries to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, flexible, culturally sensitive and quick to make adjustments, grasping every opportunity to learn formally and informally, seeing difficulties as teaching and learning moments.

ASDECS courses are multi-sited that is, held in the various facilities of the organizations participating in the consortium. The formal courses are aimed at busy professionals who wish to sharpen skills in development and cross-cultural work, allowing them to do modular concentrated courses for brief periods and then do on-the-job research and reflection. In keeping with the commitment to empower grassroots communities, teaching teams will be mobile, available for non-formal training in rural and urban poor sites.

ASDECS is an affiliate organization of the Institute for Studies in Asian Church and Culture.Development Studies Community organizing Perspectives and initial skills in doing grassroots work, understanding its context, examining some approaches, models and strategies to wholistic development and its issues and challenges.

A reflection from my first day...

Monday, 3^rd March. ‘What is the most significant insight or lessons you learned from this course today? Why is it significant to you?

The most significant insight for me today was uncovered during several discussions about 'poverty being an experience not just a concept’.

In my sharing with Emmanuel( a Swedish class mate), it was clear that both of us grew up in so called 'rich' societies- Sweden, Singapore and Australia. And yet, we agreed that in our communities and homes we've been largely protected from 'income' poverty but we've both had experiences with other aspects of poverty.

Immanuel is married to a Khamu lady. He shared how the Khamu people in Lao have experienced a lot of material poverty but their material poverty declined even further when they were ‘moved’ into a Lao village. The government did this thinking that it would be ‘better’ for them.

And yet, Immanuel said that a study done by ADB (Asian Development Bank) on malnutrition found that the government's policy to 'remove' ethnic groups and 'integrate' them into Lao villages was partly the cause of malnutrition among the Khamu.

On the mountain the Khamu people can access food because they knew how to gather food from the mountain region. They have lived there for hundreds of years. However, when they are moved to lowland regions, they don’t have the knowledge or skills to cultivate the land for food.

Another student, Mao, shared her experience of poverty and the related problems with a ‘material absence’ definition of poverty. Mao shared how many Lao people don't think it is important for their children to study. Parents often reason that ‘they didn't go to school, and they are doing ok…so why should their children go to school’? Parents who often reason this way need their children to work at home to plant rice or help with the family farm.

It stuck me that ‘undervaluing education in family life is a form of intellectual poverty’ that can have profound affects on a family’s future, for that matter a nation’s future.

The lecturer, Mr. Zaldy, briefly shared his experience about his rich Philippine cousins in the US. Mr. Zaldy related how his cousins have houses, cars and all sorts of health insurances in the States, but they have little time for their loved ones. Mr. Zaldy said, ‘some of them earn 50 US an hour, but they don't know their children well. They are working so hard to keep their lifestyle that they have become relationally poor’.

I would say the same of many of us Singapore society. Often in Singapore we are ‘starved’ of deep, meaningful relationships. It struck me that ‘Poverty of relationships’ is endemic in many 'developed' societies.

I have no ‘answers’ to my reflection on the scope and experiences of poverty right now, just more questions.